silence

I prepared for this Lent journey. It was “other worldly” in its importance. I didn’t know why but I assumed it was my muse poking at me again. I always get excited when my muse begins to bother me. I miss writing. I especially miss writing good things. I just knew that this was going to be a journey of discovery and words winding through it like a river. Lots of “oh wow” moments and the world hold it in high esteem as the quintessential spiritual must read. I just knew it. Not unlike A Christmas Story when he knew that his essay was going to change the world and the teacher would faint…

I began happy with a whole new project with little clues that came from this and that and certainly I am not making fun for all the things that I have learned along the way. But as I look back I have been too busy living Lent than writing about it. The chronicles of my journey lies within the minutes and the hours and the decisions and the emotions, most of which I didn’t take the time to write down.

Thursday is Maundy Thursday, then Good Friday… the sanctuary will be filled with the silence of the night that Christ was taken from us. The hard words written thousands of years ago.  I will cry. I will cry for the experience, all of it. I will cry for the sacrifice of following through with a conviction from a man who I never met but lives in my heart everyday. I will cry for myself for the words that that didn’t come from me in tribute and gratitude. Words I wanted to write but didn’t. Thoughts I wanted to share with people and didn’t. I didn’t write. I have no clue why.

Darkest days are coming. The hardest days are coming

And a celebration of life and resurrection is coming. I have no doubt that this blog will remain quiet. I wish I understood why.